And one day I came upon a video by Richard Grannon describing covert narcissism. I watched the video and Warm Hanging With Red Gnomies Christmas shirt. It’s as if he knew her personally. I was dumbfounded. The cognitive dissonance was too much though — some days I believed it, other days I didn’t. Maybe she’s not a demon, just give her the benefit of the doubt – come on. But I found that with the newfound knowledge, all of her behavior now made complete sense. And I could even predict it now. And I was right every time.
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I actually figured her out during the Warm Hanging With Red Gnomies Christmas shirt, which immediately turned into devaluation (the moment I indicated to her that I was suspicious about her motives) and very quickly thereafter, discard. Like I had never existed to her. From BFF to dead-to-her, overnight. The whole thing was a traumatic whirlwind which left me reeling. I still see her every day at work but am on full No Contact with her (& grey rock for unavoidable professional interactions). As you can probably appreciate, the individual steps are not that difficult. But when you see a solution that does not explain the steps, it looks like magic.