We have been doing something called Megalodon the meg shirt, that is to try to make every calorie count, so lots of peanut butter, cook her foods with whole milk instead of 1% or skim, use butter instead of margarine, mash up avocados into stuff, things like that. I would probably also bite the bullet and try to find a daycare that would not undermine my parenting.
Megalodon the meg shirt, hoodie, sweater and v-neck t-shirt
Best Megalodon the meg shirt
We also run with whatever foods she shows an interest in, even if it’s blueberries for an entire week, on the Megalodon the meg shirt. We do a little bit of “assisted eating” where we will let her spoon feed herself something but we keep a spoon handy and from time to time give it to her ourselves. It’s been a hard adjustment for me since I am firmly from the Baby-Led Weaning school of thought, but she just doesn’t eat enough when we do it that way.
I’m guessing that you are probably feeling torn that you have to put up with it from your relatives since they aren’t paid, they are his grandparents, and they aren’t being responsive or respectful of your wishes. There may be only so much you can do. The distressing part of passive-aggressiveness is that it’s so slippery around direct discussion, but the direct discussion is the only way to resolve it.